When/If I ever die, as an added incentive, I'm going to offer 50 bucks and a gift certificate to Cheesecake Factory if you attend the funeral.

My brother Eric and I talked about how everybody says the nicest stuff at a funeral, nobody says anything bad, but it's not really honest. Eric said that at my request, he'd go up and say, "You know what...he wasn't really that good" and then he'd list some of the stuff he thought I was bad at. It's funny, but it would be seriously awesome if he did it. People would be all upset with him, but he could display this blog post on a powerpoint slide at the funeral, and then people couldn't do crap about it because it was my wish. :D